© 2019 by Jason Elbinger

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Being Consistent (plus bonus love letter)

Writing blog entries is becoming a habit!

Many people in Miami must have cancer; I tried to get in early to see the oncologist, but he's booked solid. They have me on a priority list if there are any cancellations; my appointment isn't for another eleven days and waiting is a drag. Lucky for me, colorectal cancer grows slowly (https://www.cancer.org/cancer/colon-rectal-cancer/if-you-have-colon-rectal-cancer.html), so I'm sure I'll be fine for the next week and a half.

Gratitude, vulnerability, and humor have made this experience easier, and I smile, laugh and tell jokes often. Yes, I worry about my health, but I've turned the whole thing over to modern medicine. I have faith the doctors know what they are doing, and I will ask many questions and be proactive in my recovery.

My friend Eddie found out he has leukemia, which is blood cancer. I reached out to him because, like he says, two of the best got stricken with cancer. I'm sure we will have fun commiserating together.

I love Rachel, my wife. She's the best, and I love her more every day. She's stays by my side no matter what.

I think I'll share the love letter I wrote her for our wedding. The rabbi read it aloud.

Here it is:

Rachel, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I had spent years looking for you.  You have no idea how many Jdate profiles I read looking for you, or how many times I swiped on tinder hoping to find you, or how many singles nights I went to praying that I would meet you.   And the dates I went on!  Nobody was for me.  I was sad, lonely, depressed, and sure I would go on being alone forever.

Then came you.  Blonde, tall in heels, and beautiful. You were so brave when you hit on me after my show at Just the Funny.  Did either of us have any idea it would lead to this?

I love you, Rachel.

I love that you have such passion to make an animal’s life better and how you seek out ways to help them when they’re in distress.  You love your dogs and horses and just about any other creature you come across.  And the animals love you back!  Remember when you rescued the husky?  It ran to you and jumped in your car. You have a vibe about you, Rachel, a vibe that animals recognize you safe and trustworthy.  You’re my little animal whisperer.

I love how smart and funny you are.  You leave me notes and write me cards and texts that have me l.o.l.ing.  I love how you tease me, and tickle me, and cuddle me, and how you SHOW me how much you love me.  I love how I can share all of my deepest secrets, fears, and dreams with you knowing that you won’t judge me.  You are a great soul, full of warmth, and tenderness. You are the woman of my dreams.

I love how you love selflessly.  You give all of yourself to me, and it seems so effortless how you put me before yourself all the time. You care about me more than I ever hoped anyone would care for me.

You’re an amazing woman, and you make me feel like an amazing man.  You have taught me what it means to be in love.

I think about you all the time when I’m at work, and I always get, um, excited when I see you. You make me feel comfortable in my skin, and I never feel like I need to hide anything from you.  It’s always hard for me to express emotions, but I know I can share the way I feel about anything with you. You’re the girl for me, and I never want to lose you.  Don’t go anywhere ever because I need you.

I love you.  I adore you.  You’re my sweet charnicoa [a pet name I have for her] and I’m always proud to hold your hand, kiss you in public, and show you off to my friends.  And now I’ll get to do it as your husband.

And I couldn’t be more ecstatic to call you my wife.